


Cursed

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: A vignette set after 'In The Blink Of An Eye' but before 'Limbo'





	Cursed

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended
> 
> Inspired by the quote at the top of the page

_“In the night, I am kept awake by the endless chatter of my inner self. I hear it speak softly of old hurts and fondly of past loves, while its demands and anxieties resound throughout me in multitudes. I could be calm and composed all day long, but the moment it is dark my mind riots.”_ ― Beau Taplin 

I can’t sleep.

It’s not that I don’t want to, in truth I am exhausted; desperate for rest. I lie down on the bed, close my eyes, and that’s when the voices in my head start telling me that everything is my fault, pointing out my mistakes, mocking me and tormenting me, trying to drive me insane.

I guess you could call me a functioning alcoholic. I try to drink myself unconscious because then I might get some rest, but I fear that my body has become far too used to me using whiskey as a crutch. 

I can’t remember when I last ate something; food turns my stomach, although that could also be down to my liquid diet, but I don’t particularly care. I don’t particularly care about much to be honest. 

Except for Barbara.

Since she joined me on the bench after Helen’s service I have avoided her. However much I crave her company, I know that I don’t deserve it. She is the one person who could silence my demons and help me make sense of the chaos in my brain. She is the balm to my wounded soul, but one that I do not deserve. I am cursed. Everyone I ever care for ends up being destroyed by me one way or another, and I don’t want that for her. 

For her sake, it is safer that I stay away.


End file.
